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Relationship issues

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  • Relationship issues

    Hi everyone
    I am not sure where to post on here so if this is wrong please let me know. I just need advice if possible. I am with a lifer. I have been with for 4 years. I've put up with alot from him. But lately it's all really getting to me meaning his impatient ways and demands. I could be talking about getting my boys something and he just jumps right in and says oh I want this or that and I'm like we're talking about my kids just hold on then we can talk about what you want. And He just seems to think whatever he wants or needs I gotta do it right that second. If I tell him wait a few minutes or I'll get to it when I can he can't let it go he just focuses on that only. He is driving me nuts!! What can I do? I try to explain all this to him to back off and be patient but like I said he won't let something go. I am so irritated with him that I don't want to talk to him. Is this just a bump in the road? Please anyone with any advice let me know..

  • #2
    Hi Jasonangel....I can see where that would be really frustrating. I am not dating coach, but am pretty good at giving advice. Its worth what it costs me to give it to you, zero lol.....however I am a paralegal and I do A LOT of relationship counseling and so on. My advice is this...stop letting him do it. Period. sometimes the allowed behavior happens because it is allowed. so you take the hard road for a change and tell him, your kids come first ALWAYS and that includes your conversations...YOU need support from him just as much as he needs it from you, and if he is going to be selfish, then he SHOULD be risking loosing you all together, because your kids should come first and if he cant get himself in check with that and be a man that you need, then you seriously need to reevaluate the relationship.


    • #3
      To Jason angel
      Unfortunately my dear, no. It is not just a bump in the road, indicating and making light of the situation.
      People who are selfish and self serving remain this way even when children are in the picture and their needs obviously should always come first.
      The other thing here, there is a huge difference between a legitimate need and a simple want. People like this man you are describing cannot differentiate between the two.
      We teach people how to treat us. By allowing certain behaviors to go on and on with no consequences to their thoughts and actions.
      By you not saying right from the first time he acted this way," that is not acceptable behavior" legitimate needs and bills and food and other necessities come first, if there is money left over it is a joint( if married) decision how to spend it. It sounded like you are the sole wage earner thus removing him from the final decision on how extra money should be spent.
      Wanting you to "jump" and do something now? Is plain and simple child like behavior. I suspect that his mother tended to his every need and never did him justice by showing him and teaching him self sufficiency. Your gut intuition told you to write this post dear. You know in your heart of hearts that this is no bump in the road, don't you? Remember also, what you do, and what you don't do teaches your children decision making and will carry that into their own adult relationships.
      You know what you need to do.


      • #4
        I would have to agree with the previous comments, you need to nip this behavior in the butt just as you would do with one of your children (because he's acting like s child).
        I know personally I had to put my love one on a schedule with the phones because he was calling to much & not really having much to say just wanted to hear my voice, that cost money, So we made an agreement for him to call on Tues, Thurs & Sat unless there was a medical emergency or going on lock down & wouldn't be able to call.

        Your money you are in charge, don't allow him to make you feel guilty for not doing something for him when he wanted it done. Home & kids come 1st regardless of your relationship status & any real man will understand that....His love & appreciation won't pay the light bill or put clothes on your kids back.....If he's persistent or tries to make you feel bad, stop taking his calls & let him bug & throw a fit with somebody else. If you're his only supporter he'll be thankful for what he get when he gets it.

        Stand your ground!!!
        Fight your battle on your knees


        • #5
          Thank you ladies! I agree with you all 100%. I do put my kids first and he knows it. But u guys are right he's acting like a baby. I did tell him enough is enough and a few choice words lol I wrote him a long letter and talked to him. I think he gets it he applogized but we will see. But thank you ladies u are awesome!!