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Need some personal advice (long story)

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  • Need some personal advice (long story)

    Hello everyone. I used to come to this site alot a couple years ago and i remember getting to know alot of great people and getting some great advice etc. it doesnt seem as active as it was before but i'm hoping to get some responses here. so heres my story. it's long lol but helppppp haha.

    So 2007 I met a guy who was in the county prison in my town through my friends boyfriend. We got really close and actually became a couple for a while. We ended up drifting ways before he was released. Fast forward to 2009 when a mutual friends messages me and says he is hanging out with him right now and he wanted my number. I gave it to him, we ended up hanging out for a while and messed around. I ended up pregnant in 2010. December of 2010 he gets locked up and sent up state we again started to have a relationship, I have our son in Jan 2011. I visit every week, write daily, phone calls daily etc. 2012 came and I got a letter from an ex who i had no idea was locked up. I had a dream about him took it as some kind of sign and went to visit him, he got out shortly after. I ended things with my son's father to give my ex and i a chance to see if we could make it work. He raised my kiddos like they were his own for years we got married in 2013 but in the last couple years he had 6 affairs. He's an amazing father etc but I cant seem to get myself over the affairs and also over my son's father. I went to see him last year spent the night and had things happened we now have another baby together that my husband is also raising. I am still completely in love with my son's father i'm just not sure what to do here. I think about him constantly, we talk but not on that level just on a parent level. I'm pretty sure he knows how I feel. I just think we keep coming back and forth into each other's lives for a reason and i believe that everything happens for a reason. A few months ago he came to visit my son (I was pregnant with my newest) and when I showed him our son's new room in our new house he hugged me out of nowhere and I just felt like I melted. I don't know how to go about any of this. someone please just tell me what you would do in my case. PLEASE!

  • #2
    Welcome back, you're absolutely correct this forum isn't as active as it use to be, they upgrade the site so it was shut down for a while & lost a lot of people unfortunately

    So my advice is dump the husband you probably shouldn't even went to visit him in 1st place, he was an ex for a reason. 6 affairs - you're worth more than that & you deserve better. Just because he's good with the kids isn't a good enough excuse, believe it or not your kids are aware of a lot more than you think. Do you want your sons thinking its okay to cheat on their wife? Do you want your daughters thinking its okay to be cheated on?? Don't know the age of your kids but still, if you don't want it for your kids why would you settle & accept it for yourself.

    Now I'm not saying if you divorce the husband to run & jumpstart something with the baby daddy either, You need to take some alone time for yourself & get yourself together in every area. If you decide to get with baby daddy, 1st it sounds like you need to have a talk to see if you both are on the same page feeling wise. He may love you as the mother of his kids but may also still may be hurt you dump him at his lowest point in life (incarceration) &/or for an ex.

    Above all you got to do what's best for you & your kids.....we all can give advice but none of us are in your shoes.
    Pray on it
    Fight your battle on your knees


    • #3
      thank you! i hope we can get it back to what it used to be on this forum. i used to be on here constantly and felt closer to some of the loved ones on here then people in my own life.

      thank you for your advice also. my son's father has told me numerous times he forgave me for that because he did wrong to by not sticking around through my first pregnancy and getting in trouble right before he was born. we were gonna give it a go last year but i couldn't leave my husband because of a personal issue at the time which is now over and cleared up. i just wish i could fast forward sometimes and see where this ends up so i know what to do. my son's father looks at it like i was there while we were together when he was locked up when his own parents and friends weren't so he didn't hold a grudge against me for anything that happened.