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I can not believe I fell for it for year

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  • I can not believe I fell for it for year

    I did prison Ministry and I met a man, we started to communicate then I was on his phone list then visitor log. I visited him twice a week and we got very close I thought. He knew I questioned his motives and being younger than me, he reassured me he would have not trusted certain things I picked up from him if he was not for real he even meet my best friend and she said he is so real when you walked into the visitor room and he saw you I knew for-sure then he loved you by his look. He was transferred from my home town to the UP over eight hours away. oh I made the trip spent money on motels and gas and etc. He had me write letters for his friends pass kites I was dumb. He said I was what he wanted and we made plans for when he would be free. He wrote me that he has something that most men do not have in person a wonderful real lady and that is rare for in there. When time got close I did not hear much from him. I knew my/our friends were picking him up and I did not hear from him. Then he called gave me his cell number we talked a bit. I called him one day and ask how it was going and he told me my phone is a convenience for me not you. How does it feel to call someone and not get an answer that is what happen to him he said his 10 years in there. I found out he had a really young drug attic girl. I allowed him to make an *** out of me I am sure I was a big laugh to tell stories about good mule. I am okay with all of it now (even thou I believed him with my whole heart and thought I was madly in love) I beat my self up enough I have a very close bond with four of his family members and friends I met through him, they do not have any thing to do with him. It has taken awhile because he was so good and telling me what I wanted to hear. I have no communications with him anymore and will not. He is back into drugs and will be back in prison within five years. signed: a person that learned the hard way and shed a lot of tears.

  • #2
    I am very sorry to hear that your heart got broken! That is very painful for sure. When meeting a man in prison, there is always a chance that they may be lying. You were a good person and you loved. There's nothing wrong with that. He could not be with you because he did not learn from his mistakes and change. Drug addicts are not happy. There is a lot of pain which has left a hole in them which they try to fill with drugs. Drugs only numb them from feeling and dealing with their pain and anger. He has made a choice to hide. Do not let his choice drag you down too. Take some time for yourself to heal. Take gentle care of yourself. Forgive yourself because you didn't do anything wrong (at least from what you said). You said you did prison ministry, so use prayer to help you find comfort.

    Be well

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    • #3
      Well Daisy, I am so sorry to hear that this has happened to you and I understand that you are hurting but do not beat yourself up. Because you have done nothing wrong by giving, showing and displaying love and acts of kindness. Also do not let this experience change who you are, I hope and pray that you heal. You take care and be well.
      The only Mrs. "Rocko" Chaney

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      • #4
        You are not at fault here. It happens. Several years ago, I found myself in the same situation and it was devastating but it all worked out in the end. Through my suffering, I turned to somebody for nothing but answers to some questions that were eating away at me - the "how could I have not realized what was going on" kind of questions and I ended up meeting the man I will be marrying in the next few months. Everything happens for a reason and even though we may never know or understand the reasons, everything that happens is just a stepping stone to where we're supposed to be. God never shuts a door without opening another one. When you find yourself going through that new opened door - look back for just a second and thank him for getting you there... God Bless..... My thoughts and prayers are with you...
        Anything worth having is worth waiting and working for....HE IS WORTH IT

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        • #5
          First of all thank you all for the kind and meaning words. I am healing now and feel good about my self. His best friend (not any more) came to visit me and made me gather all of the stuff I had collected and did for the years I was involved also had me write a letter then we burned everything it is gone and so is he. Last week I heard he is really low and into a lot of bad stuff which is so sad. I am going to be okay. be blessed and enjoy your life I am going to. peace.

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          • #6
            It's not just you and you will heal. A friend of mine also fell for two men that she taught as they know how to sweet talk and will give you everything under the sun in order to get you to believe that they want to spend their life with you. She bought them shoes, and tons of other supplies over about 200 a month and anytime they needed anything she was there. They ended up leaveing her after she couldn't give them anything else for their ex girlfriends. One actually made it off parole and is still cheating on his girlfriend and another one is back in prison for theft again. She did meet someone though who goes out of his way to treat her like gold and has been in and out of prison since age 14 he's now 47.

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            • #7
              You opened your heart through your prison ministry and took a chance. It didn't work out through no fault of your own. You brought goodness, faith, and love into his life and he chose not to accept those offerings. Relationships with incarcerated men (and women) are a crapshoot because there is always that possibility that they are using you to make their lives in prison easier or for a place to go when they are released. Even those of us that knew our LO's before they were incarcerated still run the same risk because they are as apt to pull the same kind of thing. Thank the Good Lord that he went his own way without continuing his ruse and causing you additional pain and heartache down the line.
              He's a skinny weirdo, but he's my skinny weirdo.

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              • #8
                I did the same thing by meeting someone while in ministry..I am so sorry yours hadn't worked out. I have married mine and it's a good and positive one. We don't know where the future is, but we do know it's Gods plan. We both prayed for the right person He chose for us and He led us to eaceach other. It's very hard to know real love for sure. You had so much hope amend he led you on and played you. It does sound like you have a big heart tho. That door closed, but He will open another. Yes, look back and see the end and then keep walking to a better chapter in your life. Someone is picked for you and will come when you least expect it.TC&GB

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                • #9
                  A update on my story ladies, I just found out that he is back in prison. He got out in April and with his smart ways ended up back in. un real.

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                  • #10
                    He lost in more ways than one. You gave him so much and he had a chance , but he didn;t want that. Its his loss. Your intentions were good. Yes, that door closed, but another will open for you. there are good and bad men both in and out of prison. I also do ministry work and there are those who take advantage , but there are those who would love to have a friend to write to. Good luck . TC&GB

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by dasiy14 View Post
                      I did prison Ministry and I met a man, we started to communicate then I was on his phone list then visitor log. I visited him twice a week and we got very close I thought. He knew I questioned his motives and being younger than me, he reassured me he would have not trusted certain things I picked up from him if he was not for real he even meet my best friend and she said he is so real when you walked into the visitor room and he saw you I knew for-sure then he loved you by his look. He was transferred from my home town to the UP over eight hours away. oh I made the trip spent money on motels and gas and etc. He had me write letters for his friends pass kites I was dumb. He said I was what he wanted and we made plans for when he would be free. He wrote me that he has something that most men do not have in person a wonderful real lady and that is rare for in there. When time got close I did not hear much from him. I knew my/our friends were picking him up and I did not hear from him. Then he called gave me his cell number we talked a bit. I called him one day and ask how it was going and he told me my phone is a convenience for me not you. How does it feel to call someone and not get an answer that is what happen to him he said his 10 years in there. I found out he had a really young drug attic girl. I allowed him to make an *** out of me I am sure I was a big laugh to tell stories about good mule. I am okay with all of it now (even thou I believed him with my whole heart and thought I was madly in love) I beat my self up enough I have a very close bond with four of his family members and friends I met through him, they do not have any thing to do with him. It has taken awhile because he was so good and telling me what I wanted to hear. I have no communications with him anymore and will not. He is back into drugs and will be back in prison within five years. signed: a person that learned the hard way and shed a lot of tears.
                      Thanks for sharing sweetie! God bless you and this has only made you a stronger & wise woman.. Take care!


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                      • #12
                        He's back in prison! Well he'll try to get in touch with you telling you he's sorry, I made a mistake walking away from you.... don't take his phone calls and send those letters back when they start coming. I wish you well and hope you don't look back.

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                        • #13
                          Daisy did you say his ex best friend made you gather his stuff and burn it ??? I got a feeling that maybe the ex best friend might be intrested in you...???
                          2 days and its over !!!😍👍💛💙💜💚❤️

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                          • #14
                            Update to my post = Hello Ladies, Mark did his second term and was out and he did contact me we remained friends and he gave me sound advice we texted I never agreed to go see him or let him come here I couldn't open myself up for that we did become very close again not in a romance we talked on the phone a lot I felt happy we settled ****. The last time I talked to him July 31 he was in trouble again not sure what he was going to get said he would keep me posted I did not hear from him which was a concern his dad called me two weeks ago after I talked to Mark he was sent to Ingham County jail to await trial they found him dead in his bunk on morning count no sign of foul play or suicide the investigation could take 12 weeks. I am very sad I hope he found the piece he needed God bless him. RIP my dear friend,

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                            • #15
                              Wow. That's so sad. Sending prayers

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