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  • MRS. C0RTEZ
    started a topic Cheating && lies in prison

    Cheating && lies in prison

    I'm basically just looking to see if anyone has ever felt like i do now. Juan or more commonly known as Juanito and me met 3 years ago. I was going through some relationship as well as family problems and he was always there to help me. We had met in August of 2006 and that December, right before Christmas he moved to the valley to be with his Dad so he could learn to stay out of trouble. Since then we've had so many issues in our relationship. We've gone days, weeks, even months without talking because of this distance. In November 2007 I went to go visit him and my senses told me something was wrong and I was right. He had been cheating on me. He never said it but I knew. In August of 2008 he returned to the Houston area and wanted to get back with me but I didn't want that. He harrassed me and finally gave up. He went to jail some time in November and we ended up getting back in contact with each other sometime in January or February. We agreed to give it one more shot and everything had been fine until I found out he had been writing to `the other girl.` He lied at first and then admitted it when I kept bugging him. He apologized of course and we were fine. But I became lonely and in October I finally ended it. Now I found out he is back with `the other girl` and he is calling me names, sending her my letters and completely humiliating me. I only found this out because she is 19 years old and literally took pictures of the letters dated October and posted them on myspace. Since the day after Thanksgiving I've literally wrote him everyday and still have not heard nothing back. Despite the fact that he hasn't responded yet I've put $25 on his commissary and just today bought him a little gift for the holidays. I bought him a puzzle book and chicken soup for the prisoners soul. I know he likes to read so hopefully he'll enjoy that and I figured everyone loves puzzles.

    Anyway has anyone ever been in a situation similar to this one? And am I a fool for still holding on? I have a psychic advisor I talk to when it comes to all my problems and she told me he is my soul mate and that him talking to the `other girl` was just a desperate attempt to show he can hurt me and that he's using her as a wall for his confusion. She also said that he thinks about me fondly and sees me in his future.

    With that being said I'm trying to keep my head up and stay positive but it's hard. I feel like I made such a huge mistake and if I had a time machine I'd definitely go back and do things differently.

  • hisangel
    replied
    I just wanted to tell you that I truly Love every thing you said here an how you said it even Thank you...

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  • JUXAUNIQUE
    replied
    Can no one make ur mind up for you,you have to do that jux make sure the choice you make is right for your future,i was lost lik that and at times i still am but i let god guide me cos i kno that god want guide me wrong

    hope all works out
    sincerly mrs.cleveland

    Leave a comment:


  • hisangel
    replied
    Well all rightly then you know i do not know how this stated out on this thread but as far as these last few messages go ... Yes move on get your self an your life together an working right an moving forward to your best possible future there is for you.. Then start worrying about every body and or any body else there may be in your life at that time.... Instead of Today...

    Leave a comment:


  • ericsgirl
    replied
    im sorry but how i read it..he not responding right? then maybe he doesnt want u anymore or at least right now. the best u can do is cut all ties with him and move on. whats meant to be is meant to be and as for a time machine i wish i had one to so my love could be home with me. but everything happens for a reason

    Leave a comment:


  • Cori
    replied
    You ladies are doing so much for these guys and helping them do their time and this is how they act, BEHIND bars. Imagine out here?!... Hell NA, keep it moving. I would tellm' to kick rocks. Value yourselves, you guys are some amazing woman and sometimes we lose sight of that. Never let anyone steal your joy! They do not appreciate you!!! Why deal with all of that, trust that I know its hard but it will get easier day by day. Just let it go!

    Leave a comment:


  • NicoleD
    replied
    Originally posted by RayHen26 View Post
    yea that's a big no no!!!! I think one chance is plenty! we all make mistakeds for one reason or another but more than one isn't a mistake it's a trait
    yeah i believe the same thing one chance is good enough...1 time is too many and to put yourself through it over and over agian just hurting yourself.

    Leave a comment:


  • lizzardsgirl
    replied
    Left and moved for the 4th time.

    Ok this time I need help please. all i have done is set and cry day after day.
    after falling deep for what he and I call Soul mates,,I spent 38 bless for days and nights with him befor they took him away.after putting 2500.00 on his books in the last 6 mo's he is starting to talk more about old girlfriend,cellmates girlfriend, did I see her outside and all her tats, of course the cell mate showed him the pictures. great!the other girl who writs him, he said he has not responded, but she wants to put money on his books. well after telling me about his sexual encounters, now they are "JUST Friends".He ask should he write her back. sorry so long but y'all are i have to talk to.I can never have a contact visit he is still married, What a Suprise.After visiting him, it has become easier to walk away and not look back to see if he is still watching for that last look.Pictures thats all he ask for.and his family they do not visit. Yes Depression has hit so much I want to lease my home where he wants to parole to.I feel strongley to move back home, but at the same time, guilty for leaving him, but he is a 3 timer to the system. I am so confused and sad. please any info would help. thanks

    Leave a comment:


  • NicoleD
    replied
    Im going through something like dat rite now...lies...you find them out once there locked up and only want the truth from them

    Leave a comment:


  • bnyce
    replied
    Having someone that you commit yourself to that is behind bars is an issue all in itself and it takes a lot to deal with; however, with that comes a level of expected respect. After reading what you wrote, I would say to you...Respect yourself first, know that you deserve better, and that you can't buy his affection/attention. Sounds like you need to heal and the best way to do that is to walk away and find yourself. I wish you the best.

    Leave a comment:


  • RayHen26
    replied
    Originally posted by bailey1975 View Post
    My husband cheated constantly....the first 5 yrs of my marriage...always asking why i didn't trust him. finally, the first chance he actually gave me to be able to try to start trusting again, he left me for my "best friend" who he'd been cheating with for a month before we split. There are some that chnage, but most don't! You have to make the decision for yourself as to whether or not ur gonna keep giving him chances! Good luck hun!
    yea that's a big no no!!!! I think one chance is plenty! we all make mistakeds for one reason or another but more than one isn't a mistake it's a trait

    Leave a comment:


  • bailey1975
    replied
    My husband cheated constantly....the first 5 yrs of my marriage...always asking why i didn't trust him. finally, the first chance he actually gave me to be able to try to start trusting again, he left me for my "best friend" who he'd been cheating with for a month before we split. There are some that chnage, but most don't! You have to make the decision for yourself as to whether or not ur gonna keep giving him chances! Good luck hun!

    Leave a comment:


  • RayHen26
    replied
    Originally posted by earthangel903 View Post
    I'll throw my two-cents in the ring of comments. I personally would have let him go. You stated he cheated on you and you took him back. "Once a cheat" always a cheat. Let go! God always has a ram in the bush for His children.
    Not always but I think when u allow something with someone they see it's ok to do it

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'll throw my two-cents in the ring of comments. I personally would have let him go. You stated he cheated on you and you took him back. "Once a cheat" always a cheat. Let go! God always has a ram in the bush for His children.

    Leave a comment:


  • RayHen26
    replied
    Originally posted by Texas Mom View Post
    Mrs. Cortez, You are trying to buy his love when you put money on his account and send him gifts. This just screams "Please love me!"

    Yogi Kai asked if you would want your daughter treated like that. I'll take it a step further and ask, "If things 'worked out' for the two of you and you were someday married and had children, he would treat them at least as bad as he is treating you.

    You are the one who selects the father of your children. Don't ever get involved with any man who is disrespectful of you, because he will be that way toward your children, too. enid said if you continue down this path you are asking for heartache. I will add that you are asking for heartache for your children, too.

    You are thinking about yourself right now, your lonliness and wanting someone to love you, but the message your behavior sends to him is "Hit me again; I'll still stick around." But you will answer to your children someday for the choices you make now. Treat yourself as well as you would treat them.

    You made a mistake to send those pictures to him, but we all make mistakes that we regret, that embarass us to think about. But we can all learn from our mistakes, so hold your head up high and promise yourself that you will not make this mistake again. I also think it was good advice about reporting the girl for posting your pictures. That's a good way to prove to yourself that you are not powerless in this situation.

    Good luck to you and please keep in touch. A lot of people here care about what happens to you.
    yup yup

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