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  • #16
    Mrs. Cortez, read the writing on the wall!! The "man" is taking advantage of you & making a fool of you at the same time, why do you want someone who treats you that way? You are beautiful & an angel for sticking by him through all his B/S & this is how he thanks you?! Honey you could do SOOO much better! As for this psychic adviser, fire her! Good luck to you & stay strong!!

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    • #17
      I myself would like that time machine. I stood by my guy while he was locked up. I am on probation myself I risked everything going to California when he got out and a when I came home he broke up with me. He has been smoking crack for the past three weeks he is know back on the run and he has come back to Texas. My friends say that he broke up with me so he could do drugs I guess that makes it easier to believe. I hurt because I just feel so used and he told me so many lies. What sucks the most he told me the lies sober locked up. I am moving on just needed to vent.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by paulaK View Post
        I myself would like that time machine. I stood by my guy while he was locked up. I am on probation myself I risked everything going to California when he got out and a when I came home he broke up with me. He has been smoking crack for the past three weeks he is know back on the run and he has come back to Texas. My friends say that he broke up with me so he could do drugs I guess that makes it easier to believe. I hurt because I just feel so used and he told me so many lies. What sucks the most he told me the lies sober locked up. I am moving on just needed to vent.
        I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through so much! You are living my greatest nighmare!! I will keep you in my prayers!!
        ~Phillip's Princess~


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        • #19
          Thanks not all guys are bad.... I just have a bad picker lol Keep your faith I am sure all will be fine.

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          • #20
            You need to watch the SECRET. Go to You tube and download the first 20 minutes. It will change your life and you will know exactly what to do. Just follow the rules they discuss in The Secret. It is the Secret of Life and I am letting you in on it.

            www.youtube.com

            type in...The SEcret, first 20 minutes

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            • #21
              Thank you so much for suggesting that site. You are so right I thought out my biggest fears and they happened. That forever changed my life!!!!

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              • #22
                It is high time you moved on. There are so many men in the world and if this guy didnt already lie to you and string you along, I would maybe have a different opinion. I know you cannot help who you care for, but at the end of the day you deserve better. That is just my two cents and to be honest, I am no one to be giving relationship advice.

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                • #23
                  Hi-Wow I just happened to read your letter and I wanted to respond that you are not the only one, I have just been through almost the same, but even worse (as far as I'm concerned it just won the top prize for most humiliating thing ever). Please excuse my grouchy tone, I'm getting pissed more each time I think about it. So, in a nutshell, I've been with my guy for 3 years, we've been through all ups, downs, jail, parole violations, prison revocation, well, he's getting ready to be transferred out of state and I didn't speak to him for about a week (Had a spat so I did usual mean girls attitude: wouldn't take his calls for a day or two, no letters for a while;just cooling off well then comes visiting day and remind ya that he is leaving by the next week or so. I get there and sign-in but he is already with a visitor. No problem, I'm just waiting and they tell him I'm here and he said "Nope. I don't want to see her , at all. Tell her to leave." I saw his visitor was female!! I couldn't believe it, but, now I'm thinking maybe I deserved it. See I was crushed like how could he deny me and shoot it may be the last time but he refused!! But, I was ignoring the phone and being my own *****y self so, heck, why should I feel just So Totally distraught, I knew he was fuming those times when i didn't take his call or wrote him, I know how much mail call and phone times meant but, I didn't care. But, I'm hurt and he's gone now and we didn't get to see one another for the last time until he comes out in a few years. We are both hurtung so all I can do is love him and try and admit my own mistakes: I say Hang in there! If you love each other, then that's all that matters! Take care, Nikole

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                  • #24
                    I do tarot readings and other psychic things too...never in a million years would I ever tell someone that just because someone was your soul mate you had to stick it out with them. Since when does being someone's soul mate allow them to treat you like dirt? and you're supposed to just suck it up and drive on?? I don't think so!!!

                    Soulmates are people that you have traveled with in past lives...the action word to watch here is PAST lives...you cannot live your life based on things that happened in a past life...doing so makes for too much trouble!!

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by MyBaby69 View Post
                      Hi-Wow I just happened to read your letter and I wanted to respond that you are not the only one, I have just been through almost the same, but even worse (as far as I'm concerned it just won the top prize for most humiliating thing ever). Please excuse my grouchy tone, I'm getting pissed more each time I think about it. So, in a nutshell, I've been with my guy for 3 years, we've been through all ups, downs, jail, parole violations, prison revocation, well, he's getting ready to be transferred out of state and I didn't speak to him for about a week (Had a spat so I did usual mean girls attitude: wouldn't take his calls for a day or two, no letters for a while;just cooling off well then comes visiting day and remind ya that he is leaving by the next week or so. I get there and sign-in but he is already with a visitor. No problem, I'm just waiting and they tell him I'm here and he said "Nope. I don't want to see her , at all. Tell her to leave." I saw his visitor was female!! I couldn't believe it, but, now I'm thinking maybe I deserved it. See I was crushed like how could he deny me and shoot it may be the last time but he refused!! But, I was ignoring the phone and being my own *****y self so, heck, why should I feel just So Totally distraught, I knew he was fuming those times when i didn't take his call or wrote him, I know how much mail call and phone times meant but, I didn't care. But, I'm hurt and he's gone now and we didn't get to see one another for the last time until he comes out in a few years. We are both hurtung so all I can do is love him and try and admit my own mistakes: I say Hang in there! If you love each other, then that's all that matters! Take care, Nikole
                      Don't blame yourself for this one!! It takes more than a week to add someone to your visiting list so this had to be someone who was already on the list and visiting!! Even if it doesn't take a week to add someone, for him to find someone else to come visit over a spat and you not taking calls for only a week sounds like he had a ram in the bush!!

                      My man and I have gone a week or so with our so-called attitudes but I would have moved on immediately if I found out he had someone else visiting! Seems like when things get tough he takes comfort in other females.

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                      • #26
                        I didn't read any other replies yet....

                        Hun, I didn't veiw your page yet, but out of curiosity; how old are you.
                        Uuum, "the other chic" is "19"? Is that your age range???
                        If so, this type of behavior is expected. I AM NOT SAYING it IS OK,
                        but these are things men go thru during this time in there life.
                        Not SURE if it's an Ego THING OR if it IS just the IGNORANCE they are instilled with naturally..... Everything will come to the light.

                        If you are OLDER than that age range.... Uuuum, NO. Enough IS ENOUGH.
                        Are you in a 2seater or on a motorbike rydin WHILE HE IS INCARCERATED.
                        Are you in it for him, with no CONSIDERATION FOR YOURSELF?
                        You CAN NOT DISREGARD YOURSELF & EXPECT for another to SEE that AND do the SAME THING. Be the Shepard, NOT one of the Sheep.
                        Stop writing him and "lookin out"... See how he'll respond to that.
                        Let him KNOW you are NOT appreciating her playing the MySpace shyt either.
                        Uh Uh Uh baby girl... Putting your business out there on MySpace IS UNEXCEPTABLE. DO NOT REWARD HIM for LETTING this LITTLE ScallyWag DISRESPECT YOU... Sorry if I sound funny, but I had to answer this as honestly as I can... Good Luck to you... I'm SURE you'll know when to MAKE the BEST DECISION FOR YOU...
                        The 1 & Only Lady Slugga!!!!





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                        • #27
                          NOW I READ THE REPLIES... WELL TRIED TOO... MyBaby69! WHAT?! Another CHIC!
                          Oh H E L L NO! I can't imagine that HAPPENING. No! I thought a few months back it was going to, BUT I AM DEFINATE that ME, HIS MOM, & his Aunt ARE the ONLY WOMEN on that LIST! "F" THAT! Yawl would be Emesseging me thru JPay NEXT if that EVER HAPPENS TO ME! I will wile RIGHT OUT... Maybe first I WOULD TAKE SOME XXX PIX OF ME AND SOMEONE HE KNEW, THEN I WOULD GO VISIT HIM MAKING SURE THE PIX CAME THE DAY AFTER HE SEES ME, CEPT HE DIDN'T REALIZE THAT WAS THE LAST TIME....

                          Liking what Cerwydden said...
                          Last edited by MzSlugga; 06-30-2010, 03:26 AM.
                          The 1 & Only Lady Slugga!!!!





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                          • #28
                            i can relate. our situations are a bit different. my fiance was in a treatment facility and kuicked out for passing a note to a female. now in prison for 5yrs. we had wedding plans and have a baby on the way. it's a tough confusing situation. everything always works out one way or another and whats meant to be will happen! keep your chin up!
                            Last edited by liss; 07-05-2010, 01:16 AM. Reason: shortened and spelling

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                            • #29
                              Loving yourself first....

                              To the OP (specifically) and anyone else who gets something out of it.

                              It is wonderful that you are persistent and loyal, but the difficulty I see is that that loyalty is given to the wrong person - it must first be given to yourself. When questions arise about how someone is treating you, ask yourself, "If my only daughter - sweet and innocent - was being treated like this, would I be happy for her or advise her to get out of the situation?" If the answer is leave, then ask yourself, "Why don't you love yourself as much as you would the daughter?" Work with that answer and you'll find, in time, that such situations don't arise as often, or they don't arise at all.

                              We often spend so much time thinking about what others are doing to us that we fail to realize that it is our reaction TO what others do to us that counts. It is not the event that needs our attention, it is how we interact with the event that needs attention. For each time we allow another to abuse us, it is we, ourselves. that is doing the abuse. This idea usually really bothers people because it means that we ARE responsible for our own well-being, our own mention and emotional health. No one can hurt you, emotionally or mentally, without your consent. No one can take advantage of us unless we let them. The difficulty is that we so often think the responsibility lies "out there" so we must wait for our savior to come rescue us, or wait for the offender to change before we will be safe.

                              Taking responsibility for everything that happens in your lives gives us the power to do something about it. The Dali Lama once said, "Suffering is necessary until one realizes suffering is no longer necessary." The goal of all psychotherapy is to have us take control of our own experience of life and quit passing the blame/responsibility onto someone external to us.

                              In several of the posts I read of how others "should" respect us, why should they if we don't even respect ourselves? You may think you do, but then ask yourself, "Why am I continuing to allow this drama to go on in my life? It's not what I want out of life so if I truly loved me, is this the gift I would offer myself?" It is common in this country for people to not love themselves, and yet still be preoccupied by who they think they are.

                              Questions: can one purposefully cause harm to anyone unless they, themselves, are in pain? Can one lie to another and respect themselves at the same time? Can a person break their romantic commitment to another without first admitting to themselves that what they have is not what they want? (Even on those "oops" situations that TV likes to make popular, one must first break the commitment to oneself before one do it to another.)

                              These are just seeds to get each of us to start thinking inward, taking responsibility for our lives. I have a thread, "Seeds for living without drama" on these forums with some suggestions about how to get a good start toward that end. How deeply do you want to live in joy, and how much do you want to offer the same thing to others? We can only give to others the freedom we give ourselves.

                              Om shanti
                              Kai

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                              • #30
                                In Post #27, there is to suggestion of pay-back or revenge. I am curious, does investing your time in such a fashion really show that you respect yourself, to you? I know that your post was rhetorical, but I post in answer primarily to help someone else who is truly considering that behavior.

                                When we continue to invest ourselves in self-harming behavior (if one wants happiness, peace, and love in one's life, anything done in opposition to that goal is harming oneself) it indicates something about ourselves, not the other. The strongest payback one can give to someone who harms us is to live happily without any malice held toward them. If he knew that you found what he wants for himself (love, respect, joy, success), how would that make him feel? And if all the while you sincerely wanted those same things for him... that would help you by not agitating your mind with negativity. Peace and hateful or revengeful thoughts cannot occupy the same space at the same time. If one truly loves oneself, would the choice be to walk around feeling bad?

                                "But the taste of revenge is sweet" one might argue. Maybe, but only until one realizes what one has done to oneself. A few days after the act of revenge, one may begin to recognize that one is STILL thinking about the one who harmed us, still stewing on the act of revenge - living in the imagination of harmful, disruptive thoughts, of actions that are already in the past. When one takes revenge, then one lowers oneself to the emotional state of those we wish to harm. Hate is a no-judgmental emotion, it harms everyone, but harms the one who holds it the most - 24/7. It is almost like drinking poison and waiting for someone else to die.

                                I actively hated my father for decades. He was my boogie man. Then I met up with him in a Burger King 25 years after the last time I'd seen him. I spoke with him for a while and when he told me that he hadn't thought of me in all that time, I realized the harm I had done to myself. He had abused me once per event, I had replayed that event over and over in my mind many times. Who was the true abuser? Me, by far! With those two realizations, my hate just melted away. First, the realization that all the anguish I had caused myself by hating him when that hate didn't effect him at all, and second, the realization that I wasn't above abusing a loved one - I just didn't admit it! He went from being an evil devil to being the ignorant man he actually was. A pot can only pour out what is in it. He poured out pain and misery - he died last year after a two year stint of pain, mental illness, having a leg cut off, and alone. I was told that he lived the last two months on diet Pepsi alone - no food.

                                Ever notice that the most respected people on the planet - the Pope, the Dali Lama, Mother Theresa, Gandhi, not to mention Jesus or Buddha - all chose to live peaceful, loving lives, working for the betterment of others? They always put themselves in the emotional shoes of the other and in this way learned not to judge. One doesn't need to become a monk or nun to strive to embody those wonderful qualities, one just needs to ask oneself, "Do I want to be happy, or not?"

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