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my dads back in prison

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  • my dads back in prison

    My dad has gone back to prison for parol violation. Atleast he did make it out for 6 years. So now that I have learned and found out where I can locate him,. I just dont know if I should. I have met him once when i was like six or seven MONTHS old and thats been it. No contact nothing more. So now I just dont know if I should bother writting him, dont know if it would better either one of us... or if he would even care...

  • #2
    Namaste,

    I can only speak from my own experience, but I found out about and met my daughter when she was 13. I found out about and met my son when he was 12. While at first, I didn't want to believe they were mine (two different moms) I was open to them as children. My son chose not to have anything to do with me for reasons that had nothing to do with who I am. My daughter and I are best of friends and I am her Dad, as well. It took a little adjusting in my mind to become "Dad" as I have never really wanted to have children of my own. Now, however, I am very happy that she was open to the relationship and her openness helped convince me that it would be worthwhile.

    Though I don't know your father, there is a certain--drive--within Western males to accept and cherish their children, if given the chance to get to know them. I would suggest opening a dialogue with him and seeing if it takes off. One never knows the impact we will have on the life of another.

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    • #3
      well fortunately my dad does know about me. It was my mom and the prison keeping him from us, and I understand her reasons but i am much older now and able to make my own choices. I just cant make up my mind since he was out for six years and never made contact with me. But also finding out since he was on parole he was not allowed to leave the county he was in. So from others I have spoke to they do encourage me to talk to him and see what happens. The worse is he wont reply and if he dont then my life stays the same... but I am hoping for the best and hoping he is a better man. And thank you...
      Last edited by kadkins; 11-16-2010, 05:43 PM.

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      • #4
        Though I can think of worse things that may happen, I believe in the more positive things that may happen. Since every decision carries the potential of every outcome, if you enter in to the unfolding possibilities with a "let's just see what comes of it" attitude, chances are quite good that he will respond favorably. I hope you will let me know how it goes. This is a topic that interests me based on a closely parallel past.

        May your unfolding relationship with him be blessed.

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        • #5
          kai

          you bring up an excellent point. im like your daughter in your situation. my parents split when i was 2. my dad was in and out of jail for a few years or so. he was in and out of my life as well. i was torn about it. torn to the point that i wrote him a letter saying i was done. he tried to use the excuse that he had another family to care for. but my brother and i were first. after that letter and hearing my dad say he wishes he could change what happen things darastically. my dad cried. heck i cried and since than we are best friends. my brother cannot seem to forgive him however. i will say this children need there dads.
          so what i have to say to you kadkins is write your dad. tell him how you feel. and if he writes back saying sorry hes making an attempt. he if blows you off id let it go.

          may god bless you

          jhrw

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          • #6
            Thank you both. I am going to write him and I do hope for the best. I just dont know what to say to him right now but I do need to write him soon. Its been way too long with out him and reguardless of his past I hope he has changed for the better. By any chance do either of you know how I can find out who is appointed attrny was or is? Or if they will even release me any info? The prison wont since I am not on his visitaion list thing....

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            • #7
              ud have to write him. hed be able to give you that information. thats how i found out my dads.
              amd as far as what to write to him just tell him how you feel about everything thats happen. if u dont know exactly how you feel than tell him whats been going on. im sure hed love to know how u r doing
              Posted via Mobile Device

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              • #8
                Originally posted by kadkins View Post
                Thank you both. I am going to write him and I do hope for the best. I just dont know what to say to him right now but I do need to write him soon. Its been way too long with out him and reguardless of his past I hope he has changed for the better. By any chance do either of you know how I can find out who is appointed attrny was or is? Or if they will even release me any info? The prison wont since I am not on his visitaion list thing....
                hey u can always email me h_wiley1123@hotmail.com
                Posted via Mobile Device

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                • #9
                  Sounds like you are struggling with so many questions.. No one can make you but it could help you to write him a letter telling him how you feel.. getting to know him and maybe get some answers..

                  I know sometimes it feels like some things are better left unsaid.. but actually that is wrong.. At least that counts for me.. I'd wanna know.. feel free to vent anytime you want.. this is a great support group here...
                  Praying for you!

                  Good luck...


                  - Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer - Romans 12-12

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