Baby Daddy BS....

[csdeluna]

Originally Posted by bmkat

ok so i spoke to the bf today & of course we got into it about the whole "issue" again because i let him know that although we are "cool" i still resent the situation i was put through causing me to feel like i don't like him or want to be bothered with him at times....this caused an uproar and made me realize that no matter what...my feelings at that time will never be understood by him so i made a promise that he had my word that i will try to never bring the issue up again!! Done deal!! Please pray that i can keep my word because i still feel "a way" but god will see me through it because he has brought me this far and i am truly blessed!! Anyway....im suppose to be making a visit tomorrow and i hope that it goes well!!

i hope it all works out for you.. Girl i understand what ur going through... Just keep ur cool and when u feel like tell him that sh** again get on here and vent..lol.. God will help you out..

[Dre's girl]

Originally Posted by BMKAT

ok so I spoke to the BF today & of course we got into it about the whole "issue" again because I let him know that although we are "cool" I still resent the situation I was put through causing me to feel like I don't like him or want to be bothered with him at times....this caused an uproar and made me realize that no matter what...my feelings at that time will never be understood by him so I made a promise that he had my word that I will try to NEVER bring the issue up again!! DONE DEAL!! Please pray that I can keep my word because I still feel "a way" but God will see me through it because he has brought me this far and I am truly BLESSED!! Anyway....Im suppose to be making a visit tomorrow and I hope that it goes well!!

This is not to be disrespectful by any means because our stories are alot alike in some ways and i know i could not see fully until i was ready but i just want to give you somethinng to think about. First always stay true to you and your feelings and trust them they do not come from nowhere. Second if this is where you are truly going back to please keep your gaurd up high because from what you have just said he has not shown he has you and your baby first it sounds like he is trying to make you see it his way and you need to always be in the right frame of mind because you have a amazing gift that needs you to thrive in life. Did you really do anything that was wrong to bring the situation to go down the way it did? If the anwser is no then he should be doing everything he can to make you secure in the fact that he is sorry and that he would not do it again.

[jmalone08]

I feel your pain... My fiance has been locked up for along time. We have been together for almost 2 years i met him, while he was in prison. But we have had all the time in the world to build a relationship. He have had time to focus on just us and my kids. He does not have any but loves mine like they are his own. Anyway I truly feel that men dont think like women. They dont look at life as we do. I have been married 2 other times and both times i dont really think we took the time(like i have this time) to be honest and actually communicate. My fiance now that is all we do talk about everything i have 79 pages of jpays that i send him. I write every single day nomatter what!! But looking back over the last 2 years it has been rocky. It is not easy. But youhave to really come to terms with either forgiving or forgetting. I know that is not easy I have been wronged many times but never never but John(my fiance). But the Bible does say that you are suppose to forgive someone 70X7. Since you have a little one try watching the veggie tales movie the grapes od wrath. Even though they are for kids they have great messages. I know that 70X7 makes 490 and that is alot of time for forgiveness. You will feel much better when you can truly let it go. I will pray for you to have all the strength in the world to dealwith all the pain and confusin that he has casued you but do rememebr what is the most important!!! That is you and your son first and foremost. You are awesome no matter what!!!!!

[BMKAT]

Originally Posted by Dre's girl

This is not to be disrespectful by any means because our stories are alot alike in some ways and i know i could not see fully until i was ready but i just want to give you somethinng to think about. First always stay true to you and your feelings and trust them they do not come from nowhere. Second if this is where you are truly going back to please keep your gaurd up high because from what you have just said he has not shown he has you and your baby first it sounds like he is trying to make you see it his way and you need to always be in the right frame of mind because you have a amazing gift that needs you to thrive in life. Did you really do anything that was wrong to bring the situation to go down the way it did? If the anwser is no then he should be doing everything he can to make you secure in the fact that he is sorry and that he would not do it again.

I actually think thats a good analysis that you made (no disrespect taken) because I do think he just wants me to disregard how I feel and see things his way. During the visit he told me that I actually did nothing to him to make him act that way he was just going through alot during that time and decided that he didnt want to be bothered with me being pregnant so he didnt!! Wow...I really dont know how I should feel about him saying that because it seemed like he wanted to be bothered with the issue of his other childs mother being pregnant at that time despite whatever he was going through!!
He did tell me that he felt like I was being selfish in making a decision without him and I still managed to do what I wanted even though his actions showed he didnt want to be involved! OK....I do have a few problems with his statement and his frame of mind!! First of all I think that he can be very contradicting with his words, thoughts & actions. Why is it that when things get very "real" for most men they tend to think abortion is always the best and easiest thing for a woman or they tend to just opt out & not deal with the issue head on!! MAN UP!! He thinks my actions were selfish but I think his were selfish also...how dare you say I did what I wanted & that was unfair to him because I didnt consider anything he was going through when #1 I never knew what he was going through because he was too busy be deceptive and sneaky #2 He did the same exact thing of doing what he wanted without considering me or how I felt by just walking away from the issue did he not think that was unfair to me??
Honestly I do believe that I have to be & stay focused with a strong mind in order to deal with him because he can be VERY manipulative and he's far from being a dumb individual....so he likes to say/do things just to see how you will react so he can feed off that!! Full of games that guy!!....and whats sad is he is actually a cool/lovable person to be around!!
Everyday I continue to just ask the man above to keep me grounded & give me the peace, serenity & wisdom to deal with this crazy confusion!! lol

[Dre's girl]

Originally Posted by BMKAT

I actually think thats a good analysis that you made (no disrespect taken) because I do think he just wants me to disregard how I feel and see things his way. During the visit he told me that I actually did nothing to him to make him act that way he was just going through alot during that time and decided that he didnt want to be bothered with me being pregnant so he didnt!! Wow...I really dont know how I should feel about him saying that because it seemed like he wanted to be bothered with the issue of his other childs mother being pregnant at that time despite whatever he was going through!!
He did tell me that he felt like I was being selfish in making a decision without him and I still managed to do what I wanted even though his actions showed he didnt want to be involved! OK....I do have a few problems with his statement and his frame of mind!! First of all I think that he can be very contradicting with his words, thoughts & actions. Why is it that when things get very "real" for most men they tend to think abortion is always the best and easiest thing for a woman or they tend to just opt out & not deal with the issue head on!! MAN UP!! He thinks my actions were selfish but I think his were selfish also...how dare you say I did what I wanted & that was unfair to him because I didnt consider anything he was going through when #1 I never knew what he was going through because he was too busy be deceptive and sneaky #2 He did the same exact thing of doing what he wanted without considering me or how I felt by just walking away from the issue did he not think that was unfair to me??
Honestly I do believe that I have to be & stay focused with a strong mind in order to deal with him because he can be VERY manipulative and he's far from being a dumb individual....so he likes to say/do things just to see how you will react so he can feed off that!! Full of games that guy!!....and whats sad is he is actually a cool/lovable person to be around!!
Everyday I continue to just ask the man above to keep me grounded & give me the peace, serenity & wisdom to deal with this crazy confusion!! lol

Girl if he said all that then he is still a boy trying to act like a man any child is a blessing and needs to be treated as such. I WOULD NOT EXPECT HIM TO BE AROUND. I bet when you two talk or he writes he says everything he can to tell you he is going to do for the two of but if he is still putting most plans as i am going to then that is just what he means there is not really a i in we so keep him at a distance because they are good at what they do to get what they need.

[BMKAT]

Originally Posted by jmalone08

I feel your pain... My fiance has been locked up for along time. We have been together for almost 2 years i met him, while he was in prison. But we have had all the time in the world to build a relationship. He have had time to focus on just us and my kids. He does not have any but loves mine like they are his own. Anyway I truly feel that men dont think like women. They dont look at life as we do. I have been married 2 other times and both times i dont really think we took the time(like i have this time) to be honest and actually communicate. My fiance now that is all we do talk about everything i have 79 pages of jpays that i send him. I write every single day nomatter what!! But looking back over the last 2 years it has been rocky. It is not easy. But youhave to really come to terms with either forgiving or forgetting. I know that is not easy I have been wronged many times but never never but John(my fiance). But the Bible does say that you are suppose to forgive someone 70X7. Since you have a little one try watching the veggie tales movie the grapes od wrath. Even though they are for kids they have great messages. I know that 70X7 makes 490 and that is alot of time for forgiveness. You will feel much better when you can truly let it go. I will pray for you to have all the strength in the world to dealwith all the pain and confusin that he has casued you but do rememebr what is the most important!!! That is you and your son first and foremost. You are awesome no matter what!!!!!

yea I do feel that once I "Let Go & Let God" deliver me through this I will be so much at peace but ITS HARD!! lol I want to just scream at him, put him through what I went through, make him suffer and feel my pain....but thats not the type of person I am! I have a heart and care even when I feel like I dont want to care! But thanks for all your words of support...;-)

[BMKAT]

I just feel like venting today& what better place to do it but here!!....Sorry if I keep on this topic but my heart & mind are torn about this issue!! I just want to SCREAM at my BF....he tells me on a visit the other day that I could've been with anybody like a corporate dude or something why didn't I just have a baby with someone like that. My response was although "I could have done ALOT of things differently in my life but GOD didnt place me in that situtation at that time, he put me in this situation" Funny how he makes that statement yet he decided to have another baby by some young girl who is on welfare (no disrespect to anyone who is on welfare) but why would you treat ME a way when I never ask for nothing & Im about my money & business but yet your other childs mother isn't!! I hate talking about her because honestly I dont know her personally just about her from what he tells me & what I see!! Anyway I was just frustrated because I think he is so hypocritical.....Right after he starts talking about "getting some" when he gets out and us being together! WHATEVER!!

[WAITING]

I have 2 kids by my childhood sweetheart. He was in and out of prison for violations, and even when he was out, he wasn't a father. But I grew up without one and I think I push harder than i should to make sure he gets updates. I let the kids decide if they want any contact with him because they're older now.

[Dre's girl]

mommy i am telling you dude not about to change and he saying them things to you cuz he know your worth and he cant match it that why other baby mamma the one can get what she got he can control her because she must be the needy type that right there you can bank on i know this they love the ones who can do them but they cant truly commit because they cant control them
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[alocsLADY]

I don't mean what i'm bout to say in a rude way or anything but maybe i wrong for this...but didn't you say he was having a baby a month before yours was due and you didn't know about it and all? Then what did you guys have before all the drama cause it didn't mean nothing too much to him if he was out and got another pregnant? Sounds to me that you are just his fall back girl...the other girls see that he ain't doing no good so when he gets in a bad situation he calls the one person who won't walk away. Like i always say if someone wants you in their life they will find a way to put you there. If he was on the streets and he wasn't trying to be cool only reason he is trying to be cool now cause he don't have no one else but when he is on the streets there are girls walkin around everywhere. Do you and what's good for your baby. You don't have to turn your back on him just make smaart choices that you won't regret later on