The Prison Wife...
Who is she??
She is around you more than you may ever realize. She is the girl in line at the grocery store. She is the girl sitting next to you at work. She is the girl on the other end of the phone when you call customer service. She is the girl standing at the mailbox just waiting and hoping there is a letter, amongst all of the bills, with his name in the top left corner. She is the girl jumping up and down when she hears his ringtone every day. She is the girl searching everywhere to find new perfume to spray on his letters. She is the girl laying alone at night...thinking of how it will feel to have his skin on hers all night long as they sleep. She is the girl crying tears because he is so far away...but do you know that is what the tears are for??
She is the girl setting out to achieve her goals and earn a college degree so that life can be successful for him and for her when they are finally reunited...and she does it with so much love and appreciation for all that he does for her, even though things are limited for the moment. She is the girl that everyone does not feel sorry for because this is the life she chose...so when things get rough...all she hears is "well that is the road you chose to take" or "if you would just move on and find someone who could be here and support you"...you just don't get it, do you??
She is the girl who has nobody to comfort and hold her when someone she loves passes away. She is the girl who must remain strong in the face of challenge. She is the girl with nobody to hold her hand and cry with her when she finds out that she has a medical problem. She is the girl that people look at with pity in their eyes because there is nothing they can do. He is the only man that can take this all away.
She is the girl that loves her man more than life itself. She is the girl that hurts when he tells her how worthless he is because he can't provide for her. She is the girl that tells him he is wonderful when the cops make him feel like he has no value as a man...when the only difference between them and him is that he just got caught...the cops will someday too. She is the girl that would give anything to make him understand just how much he really is loved and valued in this life. She is the girl that he vents to when he is struggling. She is the girl left in the dark because he will not tell her what life on the inside is like...she is too precious to know all of this and he wants to keep her sacred and away from this hell that he calls home. She is the girl wondering if she is on his mind as much as he is on hers. She is the girl that is just as imprisoned as he is...sure she does not live in that world...but she is doing the time right along with him.
She is the girl running to the bank to make sure she has enough quarters to get through the whole 8 hour visit. She is the girl driving an hour, 4 hours, or 14 hours so that she can finally kiss the man that she is in love with and be able to feel close to him for the hours that they are together. She is the girl who can't wait to see his face in person again. She is the girl going to "visit" her sweetheart...knowing that she will have to leave him again. She is the girl that hurts, knowing that any and all privacy that he has was gone the moment the cuffs were put on his wrists. She is the girl who wants to throw up when she thinks of the most incredible man that she has ever known, being shackled with chains around his stomach, his hands cuffed in front of him, his feet chained together...and chained to the person sitting next to him or walking in front of him. She is the girl that does not see the monster in him that they all think exists. She is the girl they call "naive" to the real world...she is not...she is sick of being classified like this just because she believes in people more than they believe in themselves.
She is the girl who lights up when she mentions his name or just thinks about him. She is the girl that gets butterflies in her stomach when he kisses her. She is the only person in this world that matters when he gives her a hug and tells her that he loves her. She is the girl counting down the days...waiting until he is free and there are no limits to how they express their love to each other for one another. She is the rock in his life...the solid foundation. She is his escape...especially when she is on the other end of the phone. She is the girl that he prays for. She is the girl that he fights for. She is the girl that he hopes is being faithful...but does he really trust her to be...and does he really believe her when she says she is?? She is the girl that does her very best in everything...inspite of the situation. She is his whole world...the letters she sends are priceless. He loves to smell her letters...it is refreshing from what he smells in there every day.
He is her whole world as well. He is on her mind 24/7/365. She is wondering what she can do to make him happy...she is limited...but she can change everything in his world for the better or for the worse...how is she going to decide to change it?? She is the greatest creation that God has ever made in his eyes. He is the most wonderful and incredible man on this earth in her eyes. The past is the past and that is just where it needs to stay. They pick up their lives...move toward one another...and create a whole new world inside of one another. When one gives, they receive. For everything she does for him to make him happy...he returns that to her. He showers her with unexpected gifts and amazing words written by his hand. He spoils her...and she spoils him. They fit...they always have...they always will. He loves her more than he could even try to describe...she loves him just the same...maybe more (:
Who is she?? She is me.