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  1. #1
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    Question The Prison Wife(She Is Me)

    The Prison Wife...
    Who is she??


    She is around you more than you may ever realize. She is the girl in line at the grocery store. She is the girl sitting next to you at work. She is the girl on the other end of the phone when you call customer service. She is the girl standing at the mailbox just waiting and hoping there is a letter, amongst all of the bills, with his name in the top left corner. She is the girl jumping up and down when she hears his ringtone every day. She is the girl searching everywhere to find new perfume to spray on his letters. She is the girl laying alone at night...thinking of how it will feel to have his skin on hers all night long as they sleep. She is the girl crying tears because he is so far away...but do you know that is what the tears are for??


    She is the girl setting out to achieve her goals and earn a college degree so that life can be successful for him and for her when they are finally reunited...and she does it with so much love and appreciation for all that he does for her, even though things are limited for the moment. She is the girl that everyone does not feel sorry for because this is the life she chose...so when things get rough...all she hears is "well that is the road you chose to take" or "if you would just move on and find someone who could be here and support you"...you just don't get it, do you??


    She is the girl who has nobody to comfort and hold her when someone she loves passes away. She is the girl who must remain strong in the face of challenge. She is the girl with nobody to hold her hand and cry with her when she finds out that she has a medical problem. She is the girl that people look at with pity in their eyes because there is nothing they can do. He is the only man that can take this all away.


    She is the girl that loves her man more than life itself. She is the girl that hurts when he tells her how worthless he is because he can't provide for her. She is the girl that tells him he is wonderful when the cops make him feel like he has no value as a man...when the only difference between them and him is that he just got caught...the cops will someday too. She is the girl that would give anything to make him understand just how much he really is loved and valued in this life. She is the girl that he vents to when he is struggling. She is the girl left in the dark because he will not tell her what life on the inside is like...she is too precious to know all of this and he wants to keep her sacred and away from this hell that he calls home. She is the girl wondering if she is on his mind as much as he is on hers. She is the girl that is just as imprisoned as he is...sure she does not live in that world...but she is doing the time right along with him.


    She is the girl running to the bank to make sure she has enough quarters to get through the whole 8 hour visit. She is the girl driving an hour, 4 hours, or 14 hours so that she can finally kiss the man that she is in love with and be able to feel close to him for the hours that they are together. She is the girl who can't wait to see his face in person again. She is the girl going to "visit" her sweetheart...knowing that she will have to leave him again. She is the girl that hurts, knowing that any and all privacy that he has was gone the moment the cuffs were put on his wrists. She is the girl who wants to throw up when she thinks of the most incredible man that she has ever known, being shackled with chains around his stomach, his hands cuffed in front of him, his feet chained together...and chained to the person sitting next to him or walking in front of him. She is the girl that does not see the monster in him that they all think exists. She is the girl they call "naive" to the real world...she is not...she is sick of being classified like this just because she believes in people more than they believe in themselves.


    She is the girl who lights up when she mentions his name or just thinks about him. She is the girl that gets butterflies in her stomach when he kisses her. She is the only person in this world that matters when he gives her a hug and tells her that he loves her. She is the girl counting down the days...waiting until he is free and there are no limits to how they express their love to each other for one another. She is the rock in his life...the solid foundation. She is his escape...especially when she is on the other end of the phone. She is the girl that he prays for. She is the girl that he fights for. She is the girl that he hopes is being faithful...but does he really trust her to be...and does he really believe her when she says she is?? She is the girl that does her very best in everything...inspite of the situation. She is his whole world...the letters she sends are priceless. He loves to smell her letters...it is refreshing from what he smells in there every day.


    He is her whole world as well. He is on her mind 24/7/365. She is wondering what she can do to make him happy...she is limited...but she can change everything in his world for the better or for the worse...how is she going to decide to change it?? She is the greatest creation that God has ever made in his eyes. He is the most wonderful and incredible man on this earth in her eyes. The past is the past and that is just where it needs to stay. They pick up their lives...move toward one another...and create a whole new world inside of one another. When one gives, they receive. For everything she does for him to make him happy...he returns that to her. He showers her with unexpected gifts and amazing words written by his hand. He spoils her...and she spoils him. They fit...they always have...they always will. He loves her more than he could even try to describe...she loves him just the same...maybe more (:


    Who is she?? She is me.

  2. #2
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    This is about each and every one of us........Well written.
    JoJo

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    This is wonderful and put a smile on my face this is deff every woman who has a husband, boyfriend, whatever in prison thank you for sharing this

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    Thank you every word of that is so me,

  5. #5
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    The moment i read this i had to send it to the hubby cuz this is me all the way i had to pass it on
    Posted via Mobile Device

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    Love it...the only difference is I am not married to him...but it's everything I feel.

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    Wow. I made the mistake of reading this at work. I'm a little puffy eyed now. Thank you for sharing. I'm going to send this to Craig. I think he will like it

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    am teary eyed,, i love this imma steal it!!
    [url=http://www.ezticker.com/]

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    I love is I'm sent to Calvin. That so me
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    Very well said. I love it. Made me cry, but made me feel some comfort. Thank you so much for sharing with us. God bless us and be with all.
    Posted via Mobile Device

  11. #11
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    Cool Here to go along with The Prison Wife

    The Prison Husband


    "I am the prison husband. I am a prisoner, not only behind bars and fences, but a prisoner of my own mind and heart. I am the guy you use to go to school with, that you knew from your neighborhood, or maybe you never knew on the streets at all. Perhaps we met through a friend, maybe an ad on the internet? No matter the source, we built our relationship through pen and paper, smiles and laughs, phone calls and tears, thoughts and secrets, daydreams and fantasies. Until our eyes met through the fog and haze of these circumstances and realized we are soul mates.

    As we say, "of course there will be hardships", in my mind as I look into your innocence, I know that "hardships" will be much more than your family telling you, "your making a mistake!" Or people filling your head with the thought that we will leave you like a fool when we parole. We also live under the dark shadow of stereotypes. Tales from "prison players" who use women, feed them lies to get stamps or money. Who write 10 women at a time and tell all of them that they love them. No matter how real or sincere of a man we are, in the back of your mind, you will still wonder if I was visiting another woman when I couldn’t call on a visiting day. Not a day in prison will pass, where we aren’t combating the stereotype to prove ourselves in your minds eye.

    There is so much that goes on here. We can never bring ourselves to expose to you the shocking truth! For you, we are constantly feeding our relationships with letters that are written every day, a 15 minute phone call – maybe….and a visit as many weekends as possible. For us, we never want to tell you that we nearly got in a fight to get our full 15 minutes on the phone That we couldn’t write because the C/O’s had us in our boxers outside all day, either freezing or getting suburned so bad it hurts to walk! That we wont get our visits this weekend because something is going to happen on the yard.

    How does a prison husband begin to tell you a friend of mine was murdered on the yard today? He was stabbed 23 times and the cops dragged his dead, bloody body off of the yard like he was nothing more than a discarded piece of garbage. Smirking as they pushed the gurney, laughing with one another over the dead body of my friend. I love you baby, heartless human carnage screams in our faces everyday of our lives in here and it’s a struggle in itself to keep the truth of this bleak and deadly environment from the purity of your beautiful eyes and ears.
    You are the only source of love in our lives. You brought me comfort and companionship in the midst of this hell we call “home”, and it still brings a smile to my face when you tell me not to call this place “home” because home is where you are. I often want to ask your forgiveness when I seem a bit jealous. You must understand that even the strongest man develops abandonment issues in this place. From years of neglect, ridicule and hate heaped upon us from not only the C/O’s but family and so called “friends”. We live in constant fear that you will tire and leave one day and take away the person who I’ve only ever truly loved and whose only ever truly loved me for me. For all my faults and rough edges, you saw the character and potential. Whats scarier than the fear everyday of losing her? Hell cant even compete, I am the prison husband.

    I am the prison husband cant you see? It is not only you who battles the imbedded doubts brought by stereotypes. When you don’t answer the phone someone says, “she’s probably with sancho”. When I don’t get a letter they say, “she probably wrote someone else or didn’t write at all” The love that masks the pain in her fingers, eases the cramps, may be has vanished the urge to write no more. Every movie about cheating, every song of loving someone else is sharp daggers that stab at the worry and anxiety already in our minds. But I cant believe it in the end because you’re my friend whose faithfulness and devotion brings tears to my eyes.

    We have a visit today. My day began when my neighbor sliced his wrists because they skipped him on meds and a fight between two races delayed program. I’m sorry that I came out late. It’s funny to you how I fuss over a fashion sense, an okay fade, as if I can still disguise the fact that I feel like a bum wearing the same clothes for 8 years straight. There still “prison blues”. You sit across from me wondering if I appreciate the hours of driving on the road, the money you spent on gas, the bank clerk thinking your going to a strip club or Chuck E Cheese because of all the one dollar bills and quarters you pulled out for our visit. You wonder if I appreciate the effort you put into doing your hair? The outfit you picked to see me in, hoping its still cute and still meets the security requirements of the prison. Do I appreciate the fact that you skipped your brothers birthday party to see me? That you had to wait in that long line outside and listen to the other prison wives and mothers gossip about rumors inside? I am the prison husband that sits across from you appreciating all you had to go through and trying to find the words you haven’t heard already to express my gratitude. I think of how cute you look in that shirt, how good your lips taste after we kissed. How your body felt pressed up against mine before and after visit. How I want to maul you so bad but have to keep myself in check so we can see one another again. How lucky I am to have found you. I am the prison husband who thinks, “what a blow to my pride that I cant do more for you, help in some way, provide or reimburse you for all your hard earned money you spend constantly on me. To give you all of the things you deserve because you deserve so much more than us!” We are scared to tell you that, though thinking would open your eyes to some truth you don’t already know. All I can do is adore you, cherish the blessings of spending that 3 hours with you and hope that the anxiety doesn’t show on my face or body language, that the fight this morning might bring problems for me when I go back to the yard because of who I once was or the color of my skin.

    I am the prison husband who hopes you understand that my every step is meant to only bring me one step closer to you. I wish you knew that my only goal in life is to make you happy, find a way to put the stars and sun right into your precious heart and see it glow through your beautiful brown eyes and gorgeous smile. Find a way to soothe all your worries, all the stereotypes to change them, for I am the stereotype, the real prison husband. All the hateful and jealous comments made by your family and friends, all the fears that I will abandon you when I get out, the same way I’ll fear you’ll abandon me in here. Just to prove it all wrong and destroy the stigma of the fake prison husband and make you and all those around you proud of me as a prison husband, as a man!

    This prison husband only wants to rise from the ashes, unburned. Rip the chains from my soul and give my everything to you. To make this world of destruction and pain disappear. To make it as if it never was. An illusion, a forgotten memory. To turn it all into radiant beams of my love endlessly flowing into your heart.

    I am the prison husband, but how can I tell you? How can I find the words when the only color besides the gray from this concrete, is the color of my wedding band? I only hope that you will trust in me and believe that I am real. I only hope that my love is enough. Is it mail call? Because here I wait to receive you. Your prison husband
    author unknown

  12. #12
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    Wow TexasDust, you definatly just got some tears out of me. Thanks for sharing

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    Figured I would post it so they are both together on one thread! They are both Real & Touching...Gives everyone something to think about!

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    I posted that in another thread called the Prison Husband but thanks for reposting it here
    Posted via Mobile Device

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    Wink

    Well if anyone should get credit for it, it should be hotT'ssnowbaby, as she posted it to this forum 05/03/2010, you posted it 11/10/2010.

    But Your Welcome!
    Last edited by TexasDust; 11-16-2011 at 09:20 PM.

  16. #16
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    "The Prison Wife" this captures what it is like to love someone in prison so beautifully. This touched me very deeply and like many it brought me to tears. I have been so torn up by my man's situation and so few really understand what this is like. Thank you so much for posting this. I am not married to my guy. We met in college 40 years ago. Life has a funny way of bringing old lovers back together for some of us. He has been given a Life sentence and now we are looking at an Appeals Hearing this month. I need your prayers as his situation is really dark. I am going to be his Light. I am showing up to let the judges see his TRUTH. I pray for ALL of us. One day at a time I am praying that he will be coming home.

  17. #17
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    @TexasDust.....I never said i was taking credit for it I said I was "sharing it" I found it in a whole nother thread and thought I would post it here so the ppl in Pa DOC can read it also
    Posted via Mobile Device

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    Quote Originally Posted by kstorey614 View Post
    Wow. I made the mistake of reading this at work. I'm a little puffy eyed now. Thank you for sharing. I'm going to send this to Craig. I think he will like it
    I did the same thing! But in all the months he has been gone and I have read poems and cards and wanted someone to really understand how I fell...nothing compares to this. Its perfect.
    Pablo's Girl

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    Quote Originally Posted by MirWife18 View Post
    I posted that in another thread called the Prison Husband but thanks for reposting it here
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    Quote Originally Posted by MirWife18 View Post
    @TexasDust.....I never said i was taking credit for it I said I was "sharing it" I found it in a whole nother thread and thought I would post it here so the ppl in Pa DOC can read it also
    Posted via Mobile Device

  20. #20
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    Wow
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    im a prison wife and i love it
    SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT LIFE WOULD BE IF MY HUBBY WAS HERE WITH ME RIGHT NOW SMH

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    very deep and real. i am gona send that too.

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    this was lovely i think we all can see ourselves reflected in this. Married or not the struggle is the same and only a few women can understand what it is like to love someone who isn't physically present with them all the time

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    It's so nice to know ur not alone. Very well written and so very true. Thank you!!!

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    very deep. thanks for sharing.....

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    Thanks, as soon as I saw it i copied it and sent it to him, it says it all.

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    wow, thanks!

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    wow, well said chicky!!

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    Awesome!!! That is exactly how we all feel, thanks for sharing that

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    i freaking love it, it made me cry but i loved it im sending it to my hubby he will love it

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    I'm sending it, too. Her words said it so much better than mine ever did.

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    half way reading this i begin to get teary eyed thinkin to my self in aww this is so me..me an my baby have been together almost 3 yrs and hes been gone alomost 2 yrs on a 10 yr sentence i was in a slump last yr an lost everything just now gaining it back this yr so its hard on us and this poem lifted me up...thanks

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    This is so beautifully written! It's so hard to explain all of this to someone who has never been through it. Thank you so much for sharing this

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    Quote Originally Posted by MirWife18 View Post
    The moment i read this i had to send it to the hubby cuz this is me all the way i had to pass it on
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    Thank you for sharing this. Im gonna send this to my sweetheart also he'll love it.

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    omg...so true I could'nt stop as these tears fell-because i have so been that girl-and still feel the aches and pains of them being gone-even after all this time. well written!!

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    WOW loved it and so dam true thank you for sharing it and yes i am sending to my friend even thou we are just friends maybe he will see what i go threw out here without him even thou i have told him a lot of this already this is put together nicely thank you again for sharing

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    WOW! So glad I found this! Just sent it to my fiance- I know he'll love it- your right it is US! Perfect!

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    very good poem feels alot like me!!!
    blue eyed daisy:

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    Very Well said Mirwife 18 and Texas Dust.......
    ~lovinmyFam~

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    Both of these are absolutely beautiful and I'm in tears heading to work. I am printing these out and framing these with mine and his pictures. Just need to find a nice size frame.

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    Both poems are awesome I got teary eyed when I read both poems. Thank you for sharing

 

 
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