mom with son in prison

[fay]

Hi moms i aiso have a son 38 years old in gdc. I would have never thought i would be dealing with this ! I feelso helpless sometimes. Hes got 20years do 18.he has never been in any trouble like this.first time !they gave him way to much time! Im so glad god led me to other mothers that know how it feels to have a child in prison! Yall are god sent god bless all of you and your children ill be praying!!

[CJsMom]

Originally Posted by pennylane

My son started at age of 14 being sent to juvie then detention, boot camps and on to prision. Im not sure where I went wrong but always tried to bring him up knowing right from wrong, respect for others and their property & manners. Well... not sure what went wrong or when it just went out the door but when it went it went fast!!!
The truth is I had to do the " Tough Love " thing and still blame myself to this day. Yes he did the crime and he does need to know that he has to pay for that but sometimes I feel I pushed him to that, I was hard and sometimes a little crazy ( I am Bipolar) I believed you live in my house you follow my rules you don't your out. Maybe my rules suck but thats how it is.
Anyway long story short... (Im sure your tired of me rambling) I called the police on my son for B/E after kicking him out the night before, then he robbed me the following day later, my brother-in-law 2days later, then my house again. I found most of our stuff on my own in pawn shops and so on but the kicker is... his father was paying him for stolen goods knowing where they were coming from because I was in touch with him asking if he knew anything would tell me where my son was selling this stuff and playing both sides really. Well, my son admitted to all when caught his dad wrote a statment against him and I prosicuted him. So again he was let down.
He got 18 yrs. 5 suspended for 2 class B's class C and class D. His sisters won't write him because he was never there while they were growing up to be a big bro. and I never send him money (not cause I don't want to but because I don't have it).
I know he was wrong in all he did but I can't help to feel I did something wrong to make him this way, and I have to live with the fact I sent him away to grow up in there ( he is now 20)and everyone says I have to forgive myself, but how do you forgive the fact you send your only son at 18 to prision to grow up there and never really have the chance to grow-up ?

Hi, PennyLane. I am new to the site and was relieved to find another mother who feels much the same way I do. My son is 16 and in the Indiana DOC System. My husband and I played a big role in his incarcaration but I try not to feel guilty because he knows right from wrong and CHOSE to keep doing wrong even after being given the help and all the chances in the world. Thank you for being brave. It helps me to know there are others out there.

[cynthia702]

from cynthia702
Hi! I am a new member to the site also, however I too have a son in the prison system, he too started his life of crime at a young age. He, first went to prison at the age of 16, came home for a brief 6 months, went back with a 20 yr. sentence, picked up a new charge within his first yr. back, which broght his total sentence to 25 yrs.,3 consecutive sentences. my heart was ripped out, still is. I am not allowed to see him because I my self went to prison for a 16 yr bid, did 11yrs.8months,22days&36minutes, until I expired my sentence on 7/4/07. Do I feel guilty? I don't think guilt best describes exactly how I feel. Yes, it has become a way of life, we talk & write, but it's not the same as actually being able to touch and hold your only child. I'm envious of the mother's that are able to see their children however I know that I brought all of this on myself, he tells me all the time to stop feeling guilty, that he doesn't holdd me responsible for any of this, but I have to tell you that is far easier said than done. I do my very best for him know matter what, I don't ever feel as if it's enough. I know there are tons of mothers who feel like we do, it does help to be able to vent, because there is no magic cure for all of the hurt and pain we as mothers feel, and unless your a mother in our situation, you couldn't possibly understand

[cherann]

Originally Posted by cynthia702

from cynthia702
Hi! I am a new member to the site also, however I too have a son in the prison system, he too started his life of crime at a young age. He, first went to prison at the age of 16, came home for a brief 6 months, went back with a 20 yr. sentence, picked up a new charge within his first yr. back, which broght his total sentence to 25 yrs.,3 consecutive sentences. my heart was ripped out, still is. I am not allowed to see him because I my self went to prison for a 16 yr bid, did 11yrs.8months,22days&36minutes, until I expired my sentence on 7/4/07. Do I feel guilty? I don't think guilt best describes exactly how I feel. Yes, it has become a way of life, we talk & write, but it's not the same as actually being able to touch and hold your only child. I'm envious of the mother's that are able to see their children however I know that I brought all of this on myself, he tells me all the time to stop feeling guilty, that he doesn't holdd me responsible for any of this, but I have to tell you that is far easier said than done. I do my very best for him know matter what, I don't ever feel as if it's enough. I know there are tons of mothers who feel like we do, it does help to be able to vent, because there is no magic cure for all of the hurt and pain we as mothers feel, and unless your a mother in our situation, you couldn't possibly understand

Hi Cynthia welcomb to Jpay and We are all the same here moms who feel just like you. Any time vent away.

[wendi]

Hey Girlfriends, We as parents did not do anything wrong. Our children, husbands,wife's, and significant others have a mind of their own and we can not control it. All we can do it is put the situation in God's hands. Trust in the Lord and Jesus Christ for they are the only one's that can help us I pray for all of us "Victims" that they left behind because of their choices.







gf's

[rufusmambala]

It's nice to here someone who loves there son. I live in Fl. but my son is incarcerated in Kansas where he lived. I raised him myself and we are as close now as we ever were. Hope your son is doing well.

[Mimie40]

Hello to all moms here...my daughter was just sent to prison after 10 months in jail ...she is currently in georgia...after reading some of these posts, all i can say is that we can only pray for our kids and ask them to pray for themselves as well...that is very important...i pray that god be with us all as we go through these times together...it's amazing how time flies and what we hope for is that a lesson is learned once our kids are released...one love and god bless you all...