5 year daughter asking questions.

[peas&carrots]

Last night before i put my daughter to bed she ask me where is daddy. i kinda shrub her off. cause for one her father never seen her and i didn't know how to explain her dad is in prison. she really never ask about her dad- but of course she is getting older. what to do and say i know this topic will pop up again. was i wrong to avoid the subject-?

[TexasDust]

Originally Posted by peas&carrots

Last night before i put my daughter to bed she ask me where is daddy. i kinda shrub her off. cause for one her father never seen her and i didn't know how to explain her dad is in prison. she really never ask about her dad- but of course she is getting older. what to do and say i know this topic will pop up again. was i wrong to avoid the subject-?

With my granddaughter who is now 7 (she was 2 weeks old when he went in)I told her from the begining her dad did something bad, and he got into trouble for it, so now he has to do time out and the police put him in jail. It is up to them when they let daddy out.

She used to cry for her dad so I gave her a picture of him and we her mom and I put it in the belly of an Angel Bear that had a place for the picture. She slept with that bear and took it everywhere with her until one day the picture was missing we asked her where is your daddy's picture she pointed to her belly! She wanted him to be close to her and never leave her, so she ate him!

That is why I tell people to laminate the picture!

She has no problem telling her friends at school or teachers that her daddy is in jail and so many other kids say so is mine!

[peas&carrots]

Originally Posted by TexasDust

With my granddaughter who is now 7 (she was 2 weeks old when he went in)I told her from the begining her dad did something bad, and he got into trouble for it, so now he has to do time out and the police put him in jail. It is up to them when they let daddy out. She used to cry for her dad so I gave her a picture of him and we her mom and I put it in the belly of an Angel Bear that had a place for the picture. She slept with that bear and took it everywhere with her until one day the picture was missing we asked her where is your daddy's picture she pointed to her belly! She wanted him to be close to her and never leave her, so she ate him! That is why I tell people to laminate the picture! She has no problem telling her friends at school or teachers that her daddy is in jail and so many other kids say so is mine!

i'm going to talk to my boyfriend about that idea and i think we should set her down and have that special talk before the subject arises again- i'll probaly include he

[humble1]

This is a topic that should definitely not be avoided. I liked that idea that Texas Dust mentioned. But you should have the conversation with her soon. The longer you prolong it the more comfuse she could become and start to disclose her feelings cause "mommy avoids questions".

[J's Wifey]

I totally agree that you should let your daughter know where her dad is. My daughter is 10 yrs old now, and from day one her dad has been in and out of prison........not bothering to even know his daughter. And now my daughter could careless about him or where he's at. I see day after day people feeling sorry for the man in their life that is incarcerated....but when you think about it, they did something that put them there. these are grown men that know right from wrong! So when there out there doing things they shouldnt be doing, they should be thinking about the kids that are gonna be left without a father.

[Lilmsrich]

Not sure what to say. My step son is serving and I have legal guardianship of his two children. He is a sex offender. The children are 7 and 5, they know where he is but not why. When they ask I reply "I'm not sure, he broke one of the laws and that's all I know". Not really sure what to tell them.

[yagnit]

My daughters dad isn't in her life, but I never lied to her about him. She has only seen him once and calls at all hours and dosent ask to tlk to her. She has excepted all this and is a normal 13 yr-old. Just tell the truth and she'll understand and except it as she grows to understand.
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[Dre's girl]

With my two kids i handled the problem diiferent with my son at the time i was still with their dad so i explained that he had made a mistake and even to this day wether he is in or out he is always messing up so the way i have chose to handle it is to tell them that he makes mistakes like we all do and that we all do the best we can but when we make a mistake that we have to always try to make that better and that sometimes that means going to jail avoidance of it will only make it worse because if they asl about it then it is already heavy on their mind my dsughters contact with him has always been limited but i have always made sure that she knows that he loves her the best he can becaause honestly his absence is a blessing bit i tell her the things she has that are his and she loves it they always need to know who they are and the good things not just the jaol part because that is part of who she is and i made the decision two be with him not her so she needs to know he has good in him too
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[Dre's girl]

Originally Posted by J's Wifey

I totally agree that you should let your daughter know where her dad is. My daughter is 10 yrs old now, and from day one her dad has been in and out of prison........not bothering to even know his daughter. And now my daughter could careless about him or where he's at. I see day after day people feeling sorry for the man in their life that is incarcerated....but when you think about it, they did something that put them there. these are grown men that know right from wrong! So when there out there doing things they shouldnt be doing, they should be thinking about the kids that are gonna be left without a father.

i agree with you but how many of us can say that the man we chose to have kids with was on the level with the way he was living before we had them i know i can not which makes me just as accountable as he is i made the choice to have them with him knowing how he was most of them are who they are going to change just because we want them to
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[graniof4]

I have the same problem with my granddaughter asking questions about her mom who is in prison. We refer to it as "adult time-out". It is easier than explaining the horrors of their parent being in "prison" Alot of it we as adults don't understand, so how can we expect these little ones to understand?